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10 ways to piss off your yoga teacher

March 19, 2013

This is a must read for newbies. And let me begin by saying, these 10 golden behaviors that really get under your teacher’s skin, happen less than 1% of the time (at least for this teacher). But be sure, the stories behind these are being archived for my future book “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Yoga Pants.” (No, not really.)

Spring is a good time to review your yoga class do’s and don’ts. Plus these types of posts are really fun to write. And watch out soon for an upcoming post “10 ways to piss off your yoga student” (for you yoga teachers out there).

Yoga Etiquette 101

AKA 10 ways to Piss Off Your Yoga Teacher

1. You arrive late to class.

quiet

Circle Yoga signage is pretty clear. SHH!

Unless you’re a super stealth spy and can sneak in without disrupting the other students, get to class on time (5-10 minutes early).

2. You leave early from class.

Unless you told your teacher ahead of time. Make sure your space is by the door and you give yourself time for savasana. Don’t ever skip savasana. Ever.

3. You’re really loud and disruptive before class begins.
Your teacher is trying her best to create a special space for the class, one that is serene, calming, and ready for moving meditation. Any raised voices complaining about the pilling of your Lululemon pants is very un-appreciated by her and your mat-mates.

4. You take “yogi’s choice” to a whole new level.
Of course you’re always welcome to modify the practice to meet your needs, but when you go completely rogue and doing handstands and kapalabati breathing when the rest are on their backs, you’ve officially annoying your teacher and your mat-mates.

5. You tell the teacher you’re pregnant, have a slipped disc, or a recent knee surgery AFTER the class is over.
Please please please tell your teacher before class what’s going on. Our biggest fret is always first and foremost, your safety.

6. Your clothes are too small or too loose.
Yup, I’ve seen things. Things I can’t disclose in this rated-PG blog. Make sure your shorts aren’t too short, your pants aren’t too low, and your top keeps all your parts comfortably inside it.

7. You constantly interrupt the teacher.
Questions and quick comments are appreciated. Constant banter, not so much. She’s trying to guide 17 people at once to move, breath, focus all together while watching each for safety, managing the music, temperature, lighting, and energy of the class. Respect.

8. You talk during class.
Definitely wait until after class to tell your girlfriend about your latest late night shenanigans.

9. You have a pile of personal effects surrounding your mat.Cubbies
Shoes, bags, purses, mat bags, phones, keys, and anything else you’ve managed to drag into the room, should be kept in the cubbies – not around your mat. Not only does it create clutter for your physical and mental space for your practice but it creates multiple traffic issues for the teacher tip toeing around the room.

10. You jump right on a piece of cardio equipment right after class.
For gym classes, if you absolutely must get your cardio in after class, at least do it in the back of the room where she won’t see you.

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